Go together well

Somehow five years have passed since I finished residency and since my dad's retirement party (though he had the party, he has yet to fully  retire). The passage of time is a funny thing...often when I'm running behind in my clinic schedule or when a patient arrives at 10:30 for their 8:15 appointment, I'll say something about time being a social construct or, "What even is time?" One of my coworkers and I often misquote Friedrich Nietzsche by saying, "Time is a square circle," which is our way of saying that time is meaningless or nonsensical. (I have just emerged from a deep dive into the Friedrich Nietzsche Wikipedia page where I learned or was reminded that the actual quote is "time is a flat circle" meaning essentially that history repeats itself.) Philosophies about the nature of time notwithstanding, for some reason I've decided to write a post. (Incidentally, I now have a 3-year-old daughter who occasionally uses the phrase "...

{Dad, third from right, breaking ground at the site of his clinic, ~1987.} On June 24, I graduated from family medicine residency and became the fourth family physician/general practitioner in three generations of Dorwarts. A week later, on July 1, our family gathered in Sidney, Nebraska, to celebrate my dad's retirement after 35 years as a family physician there. I couldn't be prouder of the work my dad has done throughout his career, his dedication to our hometown, his persistence through difficult times, and his unwavering insistence on doing the right thing even when it's not the easy thing. Even though I considered forays into surgery and gynecologic oncology (among other things), I am happy to have found my way to family medicine and to my father's footsteps. Although my dad worked long hours throughout my childhood, I never felt like I was missing out because I appreciated the importance of what he was doing. My perception was that he was spending his d...

I'm in the middle of my sixth year of medical training (seventh if you count the year of public health), which at times seems like a lot and at times seems too few. It's both startling and comforting to recognize that I will never know all there is to know about medicine, no matter how long I practice or how much I study. I just hope that, in spite of occasional frustration and fatigue, I will be able maintain compassion, humility, and hope of understanding the unknown, while recognizing that there will always be some things that are unknowable. “Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to be understood. How grass can be nourishing in the mouths of the lambs. How rivers and stones are forever in allegiance with gravity, while we ourselves dream of rising. How two hands touch and the bonds will never be broken. How people come, from delight or the scars of damage, to the comfort of a poem. Let me keep my distance, always, from those who think they have the ...

I will blame residency for another lapse in posting! The days (and many of the nights...) have been full, and as I move from one rotation to the next, I am increasingly pleased with my match in family medicine. It is very fulfilling, though at times overwhelming, to be a witness to the full range of the human experience. I get to be the first person to hold a newborn baby, to support a family through the dying process, and to be there for people at every stage in between. There are daily reminders both of how difficult and of how great life can be. Every day is an adventure! A few updates:  After 30 fracture-free years, Chris has broken both his collarbone and his right thumb this year, on separate occasions... In spite of his fragility, he has had a great time working as a junior high teacher. I'm more than halfway done with residency, which is crazy! I was elected as a chief resident for next year. Tessie is still awesome. Vermont has been super cold but with great ...

{My dad with a very chubby baby me} The other day, one of my fellow residents said to me, "Your dad really seems to have a lot of great tricks!," at which point I realized that I reference him quite a bit.  I think about what he might do in any given situation, especially when I don't know what to do. He has a very practical approach to medicine, and he doesn't get too excited about things. He genuinely cares about his patients, and he has dedicated his life to caring for his community. I feel very lucky to have such a great role model, and I'm happy to have joined the "family business"!  {Last Father's Day}

{Family Medicine residents at American Flatbread } My intern year has flown by (to the point that I haven't had a single post since November )! I've managed to make it through 9 of 13 rotations so far: ER, labor & delivery, inpatient cardiology, NICU/newborn nursery, urgent care, inpatient family medicine, general surgery, outpatient pediatrics, and inpatient pediatrics. Tomorrow, I'll start back on labor & delivery -- week 37 of my intern year (I'll be delivering babies conceived at around the time I started residency)!  The year has definitely been challenging, and I couldn't be more grateful to have the support of a fantastic group of residents  and attendings ! Wednesday was our spring retreat, and we got to spend the day doing yoga, eating pizza, and cross-country skiing -- I think I'll stick with the downhill (read: faster) version, but it was fun to try something new!   Match day is coming up very soon, and I'm looking forward to findi...

I finished up my L&D month with 20 deliveries*! And one of the chief residents told me that my cervical checks were "good all along," which was lovely to hear, although I do have my doubts as to the veracity of that statement. *or "I caught 20 babies"--some people get touchy about doctors/midwives saying, "I delivered a baby," because they want us to say, "I caught a baby." I just think it sounds weird to say "catch a baby"...so I don't say it. But in saying "I delivered," I am not implying that I somehow did more work than the mother. By no means! The mothers do all the work! I just don't want to start saying "catch babies," because it sounds weird and overly colloquial to me... I will miss the amazing  view of Burlington, Lake Champlain, and the Adirondacks from the labor and delivery lounge (most cardiology patients are a few floors down from the L&D floor...with a less impressive view). I can...

The end of my "last weekend" before starting work is almost here...it continues to be surreal. Our living situation has continued to be somewhat transitory also: we stayed in a hotel Thursday and Friday nights so that our kind landlords could get moved out without an anxious black lab following their movers around (Tessie doesn't like when people pack and carry boxes around).  On Friday, the family medicine interns did a scavenger hunt of the hospital and clinic to learn our way around. I learned that the hospital (like most academic medical centers) is a maze of buildings of various ages connected by ad hoc hallways...so that should be an adventure! On Friday evening, Chris joined me for the "Hail & Farewell" ceremony at the Burlington Country Club . He got to meet my attendings and fellow residents, and we ate some delicious smoked salmon.  Yesterday, Shwu and Cam moved out of the townhouse. They had a couple of cleaning crews come by, and then Chris a...

Today is my brother Bill's 33rd birthday !  {a few years ago at Santa's Workshop in Colorado Springs} Bill will finish his family medicine residency at about the same time that I start mine. He's a great doctor, and he is part of why I made my way back to family medicine after a "tour de possibilities" (geriatrics, general surgery, OB/gyn, gynecologic oncology...)  When I graduated from medical school  last May, I was fairly certain I would go on to become a gynecologic oncologist . At the start of my MPH coursework, I planned to do a women's and reproductive health concentration with a particular focus on cervical cancer among medically underserved populations . I spent time meeting with a gyn oncologist at Hopkins and shadowing her in the clinic and operating room...but my various classes reminded me that my interests are very broad--perhaps too broad to enter such a specific field of practice. I loved learning about such public health issues as en...